Wooah... What rough post down there... I really was upset, uh?
That's how bipolar i am. Not that i feel good today but... I mean, i'll survive. I guess.
Wow i really gave a lot of trashy talk about my family. Now i feel bad... You know how it is when you're upset and you're not even thinking about what your sayings. Okay, i was upset. They make mistakes, of course, they are humans. But don't worry girls, it's not all shitty. They are actually good people. & pretty much all of the crap i'm going through is not their fault, it's all because of the choices i've made. It's just that when i'm upset, things don't go my way and they don't seem to help me... i tend to blame them. But believe me it is not their fault. I would actually miss them a lot if i were far away. I love them.
Almost skinny: I've actually thought about it. A LOT. I wanted to apply for a scholarship in Japan, but the applying process starts until next year. & i'm thinking of leaving this damn country until i finish college here. Study my master overseas & start a new life there.
You girls are amazing! Have i told you that? I cannot explain how good all your comments make me feel. Thank you!! I love you!!
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Bad news: I broke the fast today at my sister in law bday. I thought there was going to be more people but it was only my family (5) my sister in law, her mom and her sister. (8). So we all sat in the same table and well... You know the rest.
Good news: I can start tomorrow. Oh well, today. It's 1 am/ Oct 4
My nephew is supposed to be born in exactly ONE MONTH! :D
I weighed and i'm at 139 pounds.
If i want to weigh 128 by Nov 4 ...
It means i have 31 days to lose 11 pounds.
Meaning losing 0.3 pounds per day.
I'll again go with the orange juice fast today.
I will not fail you, i promise.
I WILL drop that weigh by nov 4. I WILL.
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Wanderlust, a strong desire for or impulse to wander, or
to travel and to explore the world.
I guess i really do need some time away. But i have nor the time & most importantly the money to do so. I guess if you ask me how i feel, what i want. My only answer would be: "wanderlust". It a desire i have in me like the desire of a drug addict who desires cocaine, it's something that i'm obsessed with. I even have a little notebook where i write the names of all the places i want to visit before i kick the bucket... :)
& yet, i haven't even traveled that much. Cause i haven't been working, so i don't have money to do so. & it sucks.
& yet, i haven't even traveled that much. Cause i haven't been working, so i don't have money to do so. & it sucks.
I feel at home
Whenever the unknown surrounds me
I receive its embrace
Whenever the unknown surrounds me
I receive its embrace
(Wanderlust by Bjork)
I wish i were in Spain. I fell for that place. I dunno what it did to make me fall in love with it. It's been almost 2 years since i traveled. & the last place i visited was Spain. I was 125 pounds when i was there. I guess that's one of the reasons i loved it so much! I feel like i'm being redundant cause in my old blog i used to talk about this really often. But i just found some pictures and all the smells, the sights, the faces, the names, the flavors came back to my head.
I completely lost touch with everyone i met. The only one i still talk to is this other girl with whom we stayed in Valencia, but that's just because she was friends with my sister before we visited, lol. & she's coming over on November. I don't want her not to recognize me for being too fat, you know? LOL...
They say that to travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries!
Hmm i need money. Haha...
Me at 125 pounds in Valencia. Damn that stupid
coat makes me look fat. :( But it was cold... So pardon me.
& my hair is soo short. It's waaaay longer now.
& of course now i'm waaaaaaaay fatter too.
My next stop is Asia! I wanna go to Cambodia, Vietnam, Canton and Hong Kong in China & Tokio in Japan.
I wanna go to AUSTRALIA!! I wanna go there sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!
I wanna go to AUSTRALIA!! I wanna go there sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!
Sorry for the long post. Hope you didn't get bored with all my rambling...
Love you tons girls!!! :)
7 comments:
This is a lovely post, you should travel!
If you come to Australia, we can be friendsssss! Haha.
xxKeep well lovely.
i've got a serious case of wanderlust too!! lol i never knew the word for it but your description is spot on how i feel. i am craving to do africa and like you, asia. definitely you should come to australia!! it's sunny (well it will be in summer) and beautiful and awesome. xx
I used to live in Australia!! :D You have got to go there because it is absolutely incredible! <3
Stay strong, you can do whatever you set your mind to!
lol ive been to all the countries you wanna go to except canton xD hong kong is wonderrrrrrful! their clothes, superb. china, extremely extremely cheap stuff. bargain at the price you wanna pay, if they shake their heads, walk away, they'll pull your arm and agree to it! jap jap japppan - my godfather's a jap so yea, technically ive been there and they live there.!!
anyway hey can we like, talk/msn/bbm or whichever? gahhh we could motivate each other and ramble on tgt any time despite the time zones? ah!
i wanna weight 55kg in 3 weeks. im sticking to veg juice and water. peace babe! <3
Ah, I know what you mean. Travel is something I really really want too. I've always loved getting away, whenever I go somewhere new, where no one knows me, it's a wonderful feeling. I'm not restrained by expectations or already passed judgements. I can be whatever I want to be, and no one is going to be shocked at the change. I'm not entangled in any of the webs of lies or secrets that inevitably build up wherever people are.
I'm glad you're feeling better. And do it! Go to all the places you want to! Don't let anything stop you hun :) Harley xx
wow this is a super post! at some point i started thinking that maybe i read many posts and didn't notice where it ended. but it's not a bad thing :)
good luck with your fast and your goal. you can do it! you're strong :)
hmm what it comes to being alone... ahh i don't know. i don't like being alone. at least i didn't used to! after 2 hours i would start feeling really anxious and start to cry, and just start thinking about all stupid things and lose my mind! i don't want to isolate :/ that's why i'm worried
xx
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