Well hello there

Wow, i can't believe how much time it has been since i first created this blog.

Almost 3 years? WOW.

I thought on starting a new blog with a new name blah bla, but i decided to stick to this one. I enjoy reading my past... I have developed in so many ways, yet somehow i am still the same old Matilda.

I can't believe i keep coming back and leaving and back again...

I swear i am staying this time. I remember how good it felt when i was having a rough day, getting back home and writting my hear out.

It's been so much, i don't think anybody is going to read this, but meh. I hope i find some good friends again as i did in the past, which i have lost complete track of! It's sad. I only just found Nads (Miss burton) had a new blog since last year.

So what has been up with my life,

• I am finally studying BIOLOGY. My one and only love. How geeky this sounds, but it's true, i love it!

2011 should've been narrated, but i left blogging world, and so much happened last year. I did so many stupid shit. But i think it was a damn good year, i met so many different people, i lost a bit of my shyness. I became such amazing friends with Steve, he's sort of my best male friend now,  I don't fancy him, he isn't even my type! But we used to sort of flirt and blah blah bla blah! We alway hang out and i have stayed over at his house tons of times, I always stay with him, in his room, but he gave me his bed and he would use the sofa. But about 2 months ago, i got pretty wasted, and i was going to stay over at Lu's house, but she had to leave early and i wanted to keep on drinking and smoking, so he said stay the night and I said yes... Just so you know, HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND, who hates me, anyhow... We got to his house, we went to his room and there was no sofa... So we shared the bed, we were talking blah blah, and he hugged me, and we spent all night cuddling and talking and holding hands and bleehh, this is so lame, nothing happened, of course, but it was... Weird. He had a girlfriend!! GOD, i know we didn't actually DO anything, but STILL... It was like we wanted to... You know? There was a lot touching and fooling around and laughing and staring and blah blah blah... I DON'T LIKE HIM, i reaaaally don't, we're just really really good friends.

Now he broke up with his gf and he's going out with this other girl, and everything has changed so much, i don't see him that often and we don't talk as much as we did before. We haven't "flirt" thaat much ever since... 

Ally, my best female friend, she has cistic fibrosis, from one day to another she got really sick and she had to go to the US as an emergency, she got better, but she is not coming back and I miss her so fucking much, Steve, me and her always hung out on the weekends, it was so much fun, i miss those days. It's awfull, you never know how much you love your friends until you know you are never going to see them again...

So, it's been 2 months since Ally left and i have been in this awful depression, i can't believe how much i miss her. I can't talk about her without starting to cry like a helpless child, it's awful.

Guys? NONE. I don't even know if I want to be with a guy. Last year I was with a few guys, but nothing formal, i didn't want anything formal, i was still sort of broken hearted, you know? Then I have this thing that I can't be with a guy if he's stupid... There is alway some guy buggin, but i just can't! I tried giving a chance to this guy... Well he hated the beatles and he hated reading AND he had no vision in life!! SERIOUSLY? It's not like i wanted to be with him forever, but i couldn't even think of giving him a simple kiss when i found out this about him. NO WAY. It's not like i'm this super smart girl or that i have everything clear in my life, but... Oh god, just tell me someone understand... ANYWAY.

THEN, i met, let's call him Leo, oh boy, Steven introduced us, he was so.. SOOOO... He loved reading, we listen to the same kind of music, he enjoys poetry, he was working as a writter for a local newspaper, he was into cinematography, he was so misterious, he was hot (in his own way), he's one of those very very few guys who can actually pull off a mustache and look damn hot in it! 

I met him a day before I left to this volunteer program, here in my country, in an animal reserve in the middle of the jungle, i had no cellphone, so i gave him my e-mail so he could add me on facebook, he memorized it, and add me the next day, he sent me an inbox, we chat for a few days, I was in the jungle and i was waay overexcited about the volunteer program, so i was kind of cold, and i was busy aaaall day! So i answeard every second day and it's not like i was very talktive, i had no time, really... So he just stopped writting :(. And yeah, i got back to my town and well... Haven't heard of him ever since, i reaally screwed up. I have not me a single guy, like him, EVER. I mean, he was hot, he was intelligent, he enjoyed going out and had amazing music taste. Perfect, uh? ... So now i'm all about finding someone like him LOL.

About my weight... Oh man, up and down up and down, i am at 138 pounds, back again. It sucks :/. I am planning a juice fast this week. Hope it goes great. I don't have time to go to the gym so i got this  Insanity videos, have you heard of them? FUCK, they are fucking good! Am doing them, so yeah that's all there is for now

I don't know if i'm happy or sad... Or whatever i am feeling, i just don't know.